I came home and went straight to my room, it was a rough week and I didn’t like what it turned out to be. As I lay in bed sulking I could see my phone buzzing at the corner of my eye. I ignored it, I was in no mood to talk to anyone for some time.
Things were going the opposite direction from what I wished and I wasn’t expecting this detour. My face had turned cherry red from all the huffing and puffing and there were no signs of stopping.
My situation at work and home had turned sour and I started questioning everything that existed. My mind was exploding with thoughts that was a combination of anger and sadness. I was taking rash decisions without even thinking of the consequences. I could see my phone ringing again but I didn’t wish to talk to ANYONE, so I kept my phone away so that I couldn’t see it (at least till I cooled down or when someone threw a bucket of ice over my head, whichever happened faster).
It was difficult for me to sleep that night. A myriad situations played and replayed in my head like a cinema hall playing back to back movies. I had worked hard during the year which also took a toll on my personal life and couldnt understand how things went the wrong way. This was not how things had to turn out. I had found every reason under the sun to be angry about.
Before I could doze off completely, I went searching for my phone cause I knew it needed charging. When I finally found it I saw that I had several missed calls from my friend. Whatever it was it could wait cause in my head nothing could be more troublesome that what I was dealing with.
The sun rays had managed to seep through between the curtains and was calling out to me to experience another beautiful day. I got up realizing how I felt the previous day and felt grumpy rather than looking forward positively to the new day. I looked at my phone and saw some more missed calls from my friend.
I was thinking of some excuse to give him of why I couldn’t pick up his call. Busy with work… too exhausted.. had a terrible day… Any excuse would fit in. He picked up the call and before I could even say anything.. he asked if we could meet urgently. I was thinking of more excuses to avoid meeting him or anyone but as he said urgently I sprung from bed and said see you in 20 minutes.
He looked very pale and dull and wasn’t the usual him. Something was off about him and I couldn’t understand how someone as happy go lucky like him was looking this way. It was all suming up that something wasn’t right. He sat me down and checked if I was ok and then handed out something that looked like a visiting card to me. I gazed at the card blankly for a few seconds and the only words that caught my attention were ‘cancer care‘. It was hard for me to comprehend and I was puzzled wondering what was he trying to convey.
He was suffering from brain tumor and what he showed me was his access card to the hospital that he was getting treated at. So many questions I wished to ask but just got up and gave him a big hug as I was trying to accept the situation. I wished he broke out in a laugh and told me that this was all a joke but instead he looked down and said that he doesn’t know if everything is going to be fine at all. It was difficult to see my 6 foot giant childhood friend breakdown into pieces like this.
I felt buried under a heap of guilt for not answering his calls earlier and not being there for him. He needed a friend to share the turmoil that was brewing within him and I was brooding over petty things in my life. I realized that I was looking at things with an unreasonable zoom and focus that would hardly matter in the overall scheme of life. Many a times we magnify the size of a pea to an oversized melon and don’t appreciate the million things we should be grateful for which is easily taken for granted.
This was a sudden wake up call to me to understand that I should appreciate and be thankful of the multiple things going wonderfully well in my life. Be happy and content with what I have and strive towards being a better human being. Be supportive of the people who need your support the most cause you might not get a second chance. Maximize your potential in things that pulls you closer to inner happiness.
Sometimes I wonder why life unexpectedly throws melons at you and then realized that you have to just make the best lemonade with what we have!